The Toll

I don’t hate where I am
It just hurts how I got here.
I left a breadcrumb trail behind me
So that I’d have something to remind me
But somewhere along the way
All the breadcrumbs turned to dirt
Or were eaten by the crows who never liked me to begin with.
So now when I look out behind me
I see nothing but a forest
It reminds me of that doctor
Who said dying is the way
We put things back in their place
I have to hope that he was right
These days it hurts to remember
But even worse is the forgetting
If you asked me, I’m not sure
That I could rebuild my body
From the remaining tasteless crumbs
Because I can’t remember my own eyes
Or where my hands used to go
I only have the roots
And the holes they push through me
To remind me that this forest
Grew out of all the pain
That led me to a place
Where I am happy and content
So long as I remember to forget
That my heart is filled with holes
And all my memories the toll.